Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.

I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.

Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.

Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.

I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it's all hype and garbage, but you're still really paranoid afterwards. It's fun entertainment.