Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.

Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.

You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.

Did you ever try to sleep sober?

Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four years?

I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.

I'm forty four; I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.