I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?!

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it.

I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!

A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.

Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.