I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says the word "evil"? Oh, I'm a wreck! You gotta do a double shot every time he says "evildoers". Chug the bottle for "axis of evil". Are you a president or an exorcist?!

Man, it just cost me five dollars to beat my own meat... God bless the United States of America.

The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.

AA makes Scientology look credible.

If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.