Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!

Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something's not accurate?

I'm not a marijuana user, so I always feel kind of fraudulent. I applaud this, I do recreational drugs, but marijuana's never one of those. People think because I talk about drugs, that I smoke pot. But I don't.

I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.

I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all, "Leave my outgoing greeting on my voice mail, man, come on!"

You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

What did you learn in school that you still use today? Go ahead teachers, tell me. What? Fear, conformity, don't question authority.