Do you ever wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and think, something's not accurate?

If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.

Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.

I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.

The first thing I think of when I wake up is how close I am to death. But then it gets better during the day.