America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.
If you get made fun of working at Pier One Imports, you can't pelt them with poop.
All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.
Drugs support terrorism? No, your SUV supports terrorism.
I've done coke 'til my nose was bleeding like the fourth week of Lilith Fair.
Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.