If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.

The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.

The only way I thought I could do a greatest hits album is to do it in a prison where they have no f**king idea who I am. I'd do what I consider the best of those old, early CDs before I did DVDs. A women's prison would be even better, but it has to be English-speaking.

I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.

Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."