Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!

America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.

The only legitimate excuse you could have for having a baby in those dire, war torn, famine struck conditions - would be to eat it.

If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.

Steal my stuff off the internet wherever you can and don't apologize. Buy the CDs and DVDs from my site and feel free to burn 'em and share 'em. Then come to the show.

What did you learn in school that you still use today? Go ahead teachers, tell me. What? Fear, conformity, don't question authority.

Your sins are what make you fantastic. It's what makes you alive. You should wear your sins on your sleeve. You should be trying to top your sins on a daily basis.