I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

That's why cocaine is illegal - it makes pussy too easy to get.

People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.

I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.

People always try to palm me weed when I'm always talking about how I don't smoke weed. But they always try to ... and when they stop offering me weed, then I'm going to feel kind of out of touch, like: "What did I do wrong that you won't offer me drugs that I don't do?" Because I'll trade those drugs out for drugs that I do do.

I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!