Not only are the voices in your head real, but they're accurate as well.

Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.

Anything that I don't understand or can't do is stupid.

High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.

Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it's different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason.

Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.

I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.