Even your religious friends do not want to hear about God during a medical diagnosis.

I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!

You say you hate children and people always say the same thing; it would be different if it was your own child. Well what if it wasn't?