Even your religious friends do not want to hear about God during a medical diagnosis.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

Sex is a very narrow avenue. You only have so many holes and parts, and eventually, you run out of things to do.

If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it.

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.

The internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.