Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.

People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

When I used to drive on the road from L. A., one time in Arizona we went off-road to see what weird little towns are around. Loved Bisbee.

I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

I drank, smoked and did drugs to get where I'm at.