The books people are writing today, they're too long. You get a little bit of plot, and then pages and pages of Creative Writing. They teach classes in how to do this. They should teach classes in how to stop!

If they don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working.

A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable.

It was one of those pictures that children are supposed to like but don't. Full of endearing little animals doing endearing things, you know?

"Does God know he [exists]?" "Of course he does. Otherwise, you could not have asked the question, and I could not have answered."

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American.

That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting.