Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.

I don't go to mythical places with strange men.

It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.

If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, would there?

SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom.

In the old days, writers used to sit in front of a typewriter and stare out of the window. Nowadays, because of the marvels of convergent technology, the thing you type on and the window you stare out of are now the same thing.

The dew has fallen with a particularly sickening thud this morning.