He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

The hardest assumption to challenge is the one you don't even know you are making.

Anything that happens, happens.

WOKING (vb.) To enter the kitchen with the precise determination to perform something only to forget what it is just before you do it.

Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.

He spent a lot of time flying. He learnt to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wing spans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Unfortunately, he discovered, once you have learnt birdspeak you quickly come to realize that the air is full of it the whole time, just inane bird chatter. There is no getting away from it.

Funny, how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.