I've always got stuff in my head in case I meet somebody like Steven Spielberg or someone like that, where I can hopefully say something to them that nobody else has ever said and get a laugh out of them.

Look, this is an odd question, but you're kind of cute and you're pretty nice to me. Are you drunk? It's OK if you are.

If I wasn't a comic or TV star, I really wanted to be a photojournalist.

The TV season is a year-long thing now, and the networks are starting to look at it that way, thanks to cable, satellites, and competition.

I'm competitive at everything.

Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.