It sucks being fat, you know.

The hardest diet I was ever on was the one when I was fat. You can only wear fat clothes, you don't feel good, your sex life gets damaged, you don't have energy for anything. It's horrible.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

If frogs could fly... well we'd still be in this mess, but wouldn't it be neat?

Green Screen was a total experiment. I'm glad we did it, but it was just tough on that network to get it going.

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.