I loved the old stories in National Lampoon, like the original story the movie Vacation was based on. I used to laugh at them until I cried.

I was in the band when I was a kid, I played the trumpet.

My fans are pretty normal, they are always really nice and polite, and they don't interrupt my meals.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

Sometimes I like [being famous], sometimes I don't. I've always been a people watcher. I like to go to malls and just sit, and I can't do that very easily anymore.

I don't know what people are going to think of my stand-up. If you only know me from 'The Price Is Right' and 'The Drew Carey Show,' then you might be a little bit shocked. I'm a little dirty and a little opinionated but all in fun.

I have a position of indirect respect and oblique power.