I used to go to the Cleveland Comedy Club all the time. If there was a comic I liked, I'd go see him two or three times that week. Bob Saget was one of those guys.

What good is democracy if you can't get what you want?

The Marines gave me a really strong sense of discipline and a work ethic that kicks in at my job.

I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter.

Some people don't like competition because it makes them work harder, better.

People laugh to forget their troubles, and to forget their troubles they like to look at people who aren't doing better than they are.

Eating crappy food isn't a reward -- it's a punishment.