Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.

I'm delighted to make as many people feel ashamed as possible. There's probably a site like that for everybody. I've heard Newt Gingrich has his own as well.

Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once.

Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

In my personal life, my family makes me laugh more than anybody; I think that is the same for everybody. I certainly hope it is.

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone.