Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down picking your ear.

I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now.

Because their bones are growing, they can only sleep in certain positions, obviously. The crucifix and the swastika tend to be the most popular. Sometimes a combination of the two.

We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now.

Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion.

Love in all its forms is very difficult ... to express. It changes, obviously. If you’re young, and you’re romantically in love with somebody, and often if you’ve just met somebody, its crazy! It’s completely overwhelming. You can’t think of anything else. You just want to climb inside the other person and live under their pancreas. And then it mellows, somewhat... to the point where you can barely look at them... without feeling a mild distaste

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling.