You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.

You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

The terror of failure can make you feel like a failure. So a bunch of people think you're not very good at your thing. How much do you invest in what they say? How much do you care? Failure is not putting yourself on the line.

When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'

I've seen stand up comedy, and after a while you start to notice that a lot of people are doing things that are like a lot of other people. There can be a bit of a herd mentality, and that's obviously less interesting because there's less going on. I'm just being totally frank with you.

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?'