A religion that never suffices to govern a man will never suffice to save him; that which does not sufficiently distinguish one from a wicked world will never distinguish him from a perishing world.

Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present.

A conquered foe should be watched.

Raising children is like making biscuits: it is as easy to raise a big batch as one, while you have your hands in the dough.

I have long been disposed to judge men by their average. If it is reasonably high, I am charitable with faults that look pretty black.

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

I believe in grumbling; it is the politest form of fighting known.