Kilbane's head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg.

I'll have you know that I am not a failed Third Division footballer. I am a failed Second Division footballer.

Michel Platini has no bottle. He is not a great player.

They get to the quarter-finals, Bill, I'll show up with a dress on

That's the first time I've seen sex between two men on the BBC.

Niall Quinn is a creep. The man's an idiot, a Mother Theresa.

Ability and guts is an unbeatable combination.