Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.

Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.