Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.
No horse can go as fast as the money you put on it.
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
If you look like your passport photo, in all probability you need the journey.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.