Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.