The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.