A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Saying 'Gesundheit' doesn't really help the common cold - but its about as good as anything the doctors have come up with.

Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.

Mathematics-a wonderful science, but it hasn't yet come up with a way to divide one tricycle between three small boys.

An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes.

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back

A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.