You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.

Women's liberation will not be achieved until a woman can become paunchy and bald and still think she's attractive to the opposite sex.

There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.

He's so snobbish he has an unlisted zip-code.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Success is a matter of luck. If you want proof, ask any failure.