A bachelor is a guy who leans toward women - but not far enough to lose his balance.
A woman may race to get a man a gift but it always ends in a tie.
There's only one kind of tax that would please everybody - one that nobody but the other guy has to pay.
Nonchalance is the ability to remain down to earth when everything else is up in the air.
A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.
If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.