If bribery is good enough for Congress, it's good enough for me.

I believe God wrote the Word in your essence. That's the genius of my Father. You are born knowing right from wrong. You don't need a book to tell you that!

It's definitely a relief that it's over. It's been a long season for us, with ups and downs. But we're going to put it behind us now and we've got to try and be a better team.

In Europe, kids learn at least four languages before they're out of high school. But our education system is so underfunded, they go to school to buy heroin and an AK-47.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.

Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

One plus one equals three. When a man and woman marry they become one never two.