Actually it broke my heart to hear that we were going to have to part ways, ... It's a business and they had to do what they had to do.

In Europe, kids learn at least four languages before they're out of high school. But our education system is so underfunded, they go to school to buy heroin and an AK-47.

It was awkward and embarrassing, but you have to go through things, ... I got through it and I'm happy it's over with and I can move forward and start playing.

I think some teams shied away because of it, ... But Minnesota stuck with me and I was happy about that.

I remember riding across the Brooklyn Bridge about 12 times because they wanted me to keep up with the helicopter, and I said, "Can you have the helicopter keep up with me, my calves are burning!"

My favorite date movie is Scarface. There's nothing like taking a woman to see Scarface. It gets the panties off quick.

Stand-up comedy is a science. Every comedian is a psychology major, naturally.