If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Cable cars are fun - everyone gets on board and becomes a rhesus monkey.

I don't believe that competitions are important.

I am someone who's very positive about business, as a social Democrat. I do like the safety net of the welfare system and people setting things and creating business, and that's what I try to do with my own work: export it around the world from the U.K.

Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, "More, give me more of that stuff," because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it's basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that's what being a comedian is about.

I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.