I want to live till I die. No more, no less.

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're going "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag …? "No..." "Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up!

You piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.

They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.

Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?