You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting there going, "Interesting words ... have you finished?" While you're shouting all this to your cat, your dog's next to you, going ... [mimes obeying all commands] "What the hell are you doing? I'm talking to the cat!" "Oh, I'm sorry!"
Eddie IzzardWell, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up!
Eddie IzzardSpiders frighten me. In response to the spider alerts for Australia, please can the Australian government remove all spiders from Australia and blow them into outer space.
Eddie IzzardI like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them.
Eddie Izzard