There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.

Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

I'd like to have sex with myself.