Cause if you're a transvestite, you're actually a male tomboy, that's where the sexuality is. Yeah, it's not drag queen, no; gay men have got that covered. This is male tomboy, and people do get that mixed up, they put transvestite there - no no no no! Little bit of a crowbar separation, thank you! And gay men, I think, would agree. It's male lesbian, that's really where it is, ok? Because... it's true! 'Cause most transvestites fancy girls, fancy women. So that's where it is.

It's not a bloody piano, it's a clarenARt...you weird talking person.

Little red cookbook! Little red cookbook!

I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great... He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I suppose so.