I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

I saw something in a program on something in Miami, and they were saying, "We've redecorated this building to how it looked over 50 years ago!" And people were going, "No, surely not, no. No one was alive then."

They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until you killed them all, I suppose.