My dad said, "As long as you're happy." I used to think it was kind of a very simple idea or philosophy because he wasn't religious. But you've got to try and be happy. And if you're not happy, you can't help anyone else. So obviously, some crazy people could go to places, but I just think you need to be content within yourself, so that's the thing.

There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?

Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up!

Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.

He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.

I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.