Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!

Danger could be my middle name... But it's John.

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

I'd be happy to be taken as a woman - and that's what I was initially trying to do when I started throwing on dresses and stuff. But that wasn't going to happen because everyone kept calling me sir. So I thought I'd change the method and just start wearing what I wanted to wear.

If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!