Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.

They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I'm not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I'm wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing.

Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Because that's what narcissism is all about; looking in the mirror everyday and thinking 'Damn, I'd like to shag myself.'

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.