Animals in the wild are lean, and I think we should be too.

Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'

Most transvestites fancy girls.

Cats have a scam going - you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that's the deal.

I want to be a taxidermist! I wanna fill animals with sand. I wanna get more sand into an animal than anybody has ever bloody got in one. I wanna fill a rat with the entire Gobi Desert, so it’s really quite tight.

I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them.