Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I don't know what it's like in the U.S. but immigrants in the U.K. do the jobs the citizens won't do.

You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.

I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better.

Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU!

Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up!

He [Charlie Chaplin] was always playing as if it were to the camera, if you've seen the live shots of him when he's going to an opening night or something like that. And the skills that he had were beyond my ability to throw together. You just couldn't really compete with him. He was too athletic at that.