I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?

It's not a bloody piano, it's a clarenARt...you weird talking person.

The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.

For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is quite a tricky thing to do. I'm not doing drag because drag is seen in a certain way and my comedy has got zero to do with what I'm wearing. I could wear an elephant suit and say the same thing.

I try to just talk about human stories and what I think about religion or teapots or whatever.

They say the Universe started with a big bang. I hope everybody stood well back.