You notice how they always put the fruit and veg at the entrance to the supermarket? You go in thinking 'this is a fresh shop, everything in here is FRESH! I will do well to shop here'. You never go straight to the bit with the toilet paper, loo brushes and such do you? You'd think 'this is a POO shop! Everything in here is themed on POO!

Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette."

We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't!

But the Dutch speak four languages and smoke marijuana!

I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there!

Two languages in one brain? No one can live at that speed!

"I've done your dog. It's got nine eyes down the side, I made his head all square, 15 legs. What do you think of that?" "Fido looks a bit weird."