You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe.

When I watched Braveheart I was in tears and I was rooting for the Scottish people

I did bronze survival swimming. I could save people in a bronzey kind of way.

I am two lesbians in a man's body.

You have the American dream! The dream is to be born in a gutter and grow up, and then get all the money in the world and stick it in your ears and go THBBBBBT.

Peace, peace, peace. Peace is organized.

I am a professional transvestite, so I can run about in heels and not fall over.