Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. OK, we can swing with that. But performance 'debilitating' drugs should not be banned. Smoke a joint and win the 100 metres, fair play for you. That's pretty good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off in the distance.

Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

You say 'erbs, and we say Herbs because there's a f*****g H in it!

I don't believe that competitions are important.

Boy bands should be exploded from a great height. They're just pretty people singing music written by others.