We must have been hunters and gatherers but some of us were just waiters and hopers.

My Gran said put a thimble on your finger and it helps you in case you slip with the needle and it goes up, into the brain, and death.

Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings.

I remember when I was being told about Watergate, and I thought, "Oh, America is not what I think America is." But America is what I think it is. It's just that it's two bits of it, and I don't go with the Republican bit of it. I go more with the Democratic bit.

Comedy is like a very cokey, druggy sugar. You get hits of comedy, and it's very, "More, give me more of that stuff," because serotonin is being released in the brain. So it's basically, everyone becomes serotonin junkies, and we are serotonin dealers. And that's what being a comedian is about.

That's no good, I can't steal from the fairly well off and give to the moderately impoverished! That's not gonna swing, is it?