I've never been able to write for stand-up.

My brother is gay and my parents don't care, as long as he marries a doctor.

We've seen the uproars around the world concerning cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammad. Anyone who does not think comic strips are relevant never had a fatwa put on him/her for drawing a picture.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club.

For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.