Sometimes, if you really don't know how you feel about a topic, reading how both sides argue it can help.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

I personally cannot tell you how many times we rescuers put our names on animals to come to us as soon as they are eligible for release, only to find they have been senselessly killed by overzealous pound workers.

I think about death. I don't want to die with clothes in the cleaners.

President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.