Here is what is needed for Occupy Wall Street to become a force for change: a clear, and clearly expressed, objective. Or two.

I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.

Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress.

Horse racing is waning in popularity.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Turkeys know their names, come when you call, and are totally affectionate. They're better than teenagers.

You know you're getting fat when you step on the dog's tail and he dies.