The sixties were when hallucinogenic drugs were really, really big. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we had the type of shows we had then, like The Flying Nun.

Above all, I strive to be the best I can - to be better than I was yesterday and better tomorrow.

I get to do stand-up every single day. I love that live energy exchange between the audience and myself, and to get to say the things I want to say and comment on.

I wanted to have money; I wanted to be special; I wanted people to like me; I wanted to be famous.

Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don't think we hurt anyone else's marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they're fine

You say you're sick and tired of hearing about me? I've got news for you: I'M sick and tired of hearing about me.

My hair is always at its best in New York. I don't know what's in the water. It could be mousse.