Procrastinate now, don't put it off.

The only way a no-legged leopard could hurt you is if it fell out of a tree onto your head.

My cat, Ethel, is an indoor cat but somehow she's sneakin' out at night. 'Cause the other morning I found a stamp on her paw... I wouldn't have noticed myself, but I just bought this new black light and she passed right under it and I said, 'Hey, what's that on you paw?

Life is about balance. The good and the bad. The highs and the lows. The thing everyone should realize is that the key to happiness is being happy by yourself and for yourself. Happiness comes from within. You have the power to change your own mindset so that all the negative, horrible thoughts that try to invade your psyche are replaced with happy, positive, wonderful thoughts.

I'm glad I'm funny. I'm glad I make people happy, because that's very important. But I'm proud to be known as a kind person.

What's New Orleans without music? And what's music without dancing?

Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most